You know when you've met a really great guy. Like, REALLY great. He's handsome, has manners, is hilarious and when he holds your hand your heart smiles. You know right away that you wanna be with him, as in change your FB status be with him. You both feel it mutually but.....you can't unfortunately. Its too soon. Its against the rules. The invisible rules which state: (Ahemm) In order to officially become a couple two people must go on a minimum of 4 dates and a maximum of 8. The first kiss will have had to have happened along with clear understanding of how good the sex will be. You must have at least 4 complaints so that you know its not too good to be true and you've got to have at least 2 of your best friends judge the potential mate. UGH! Why must we go through this for our own happiness?
The invisible rules are the set of rules that we often feel convicted by that aren't actually grounded in anything real. They are the things that give us a guilty feeling in our stomach but don't really align with our own set of beliefs. These sometimes come from societal pressures and expectations, standards fabricated by the religion you grew up in (but that doesn't actually line up with the authentic teachings) or even just things your family has "always said was wrong" even though they actually....aren't.
One place that this really goes a long way in is dating, where invisible rules run wild and the followers have created a bubble of unnecessary confusion and guilt. For example, the wierd thing we do where we avoid being the first to call or text someone after first meeting or a first date. Why do we do this? OR what about the fearful moment of "I love you" when we panic wondering if it's the right time to say it and if we're on the receiving end of things, what the right response should be. Instead of a evaluating our hearts and pursuing life based on our core beliefs we get caught up in the rules. The invisible rules!
As a woman who has come to build a trusting relationship with my intuition or gut feelings I'm speaking on this here topic from personal experience. Like, deep experience. The type of experience that had me choosing to stay in a marriage or not, move to a major city from my small town without a job lined up or not, and take a cross country trip with a man after just 2 dates or not and so on.
When you tap into those core feelings, the TRUE belief system you have, it can really take away the confusion, stress and uncertainty that big choices often bring.
You know whole "no regrets"mantra that just seems too good to be true (especially after that jumbo slice of pizza last night)? Well, yea. Its not a real way to evaluate life because we all have and will continue to do things that aren't always the perfect choice. But you can live a life slightly less regretful when you take each area of your life in stride making decisions from the heart and learning as you go along.
Be sure to take some time to self evaluate next time you're in one of those nail biting moments of "should I or shouldn't I". Before asking advice or googling to see how others have dealt, check in with yourself and say: What do I believe? What do I want to feel after this decision is made? Who will I be on the other side of this?
Asking these questions and others like it will help you to weed out the invisible rules that our hearts and minds sometimes jump to follow and instead lead us to act in ways that truly alight with who we are.
xo Rachel
As a woman who has come to build a trusting relationship with my intuition or gut feelings I'm speaking on this here topic from personal experience. Like, deep experience. The type of experience that had me choosing to stay in a marriage or not, move to a major city from my small town without a job lined up or not, and take a cross country trip with a man after just 2 dates or not and so on.
When you tap into those core feelings, the TRUE belief system you have, it can really take away the confusion, stress and uncertainty that big choices often bring.
You know whole "no regrets"mantra that just seems too good to be true (especially after that jumbo slice of pizza last night)? Well, yea. Its not a real way to evaluate life because we all have and will continue to do things that aren't always the perfect choice. But you can live a life slightly less regretful when you take each area of your life in stride making decisions from the heart and learning as you go along.
Be sure to take some time to self evaluate next time you're in one of those nail biting moments of "should I or shouldn't I". Before asking advice or googling to see how others have dealt, check in with yourself and say: What do I believe? What do I want to feel after this decision is made? Who will I be on the other side of this?
Asking these questions and others like it will help you to weed out the invisible rules that our hearts and minds sometimes jump to follow and instead lead us to act in ways that truly alight with who we are.
xo Rachel
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