The Invisible Rules: Do you follow them?

You know when you've met a really great guy. Like, REALLY great. He's handsome, has manners, is hilarious and when he holds your hand your heart smiles. You know right away that you wanna be with him, as in change your FB status be with him. You both feel it mutually but.....you can't unfortunately. Its too soon. Its against the rules. The invisible rules which state: (Ahemm) In order to officially become a couple two people must go on a minimum of 4 dates and a maximum of 8. The first kiss will have had to have happened along with clear understanding of how good the sex will be. You must have at least 4 complaints so that you know its not too good to be true and you've got to have at least 2 of your best friends judge the potential mate. UGH! Why must we go through this for our own happiness?

The invisible rules are the set of rules that we often feel convicted by that aren't actually grounded in anything real. They are the things that give us a guilty feeling in our stomach but don't really align with our own set of beliefs. These sometimes come from societal pressures and expectations, standards fabricated by the religion you grew up in (but that doesn't actually line up with the authentic teachings) or even just things your family has "always said was wrong" even though they actually....aren't.

One place that this really goes a long way in is dating, where invisible rules run wild and the followers have created a bubble of unnecessary confusion and guilt. For example, the wierd thing we do where we avoid being the first to call or text someone after first meeting or a first date. Why do we do this? OR what about the fearful moment of "I love you" when we panic wondering if it's the right time to say it and if we're on the receiving end of things, what the right response should be. Instead of a evaluating our hearts and pursuing life based on our core beliefs we get caught up in the rules. The invisible rules!

As a woman who has come to build a trusting relationship with my intuition or gut feelings I'm speaking on this here topic from personal experience. Like, deep experience. The type of experience that had me choosing to stay in a marriage or not, move to a major city from my small town without a job lined up or not, and take a cross country trip with a man after just 2 dates or not and so on.

When you tap into those core feelings, the TRUE belief system you have, it can really take away the confusion, stress and uncertainty that big choices often bring.

You know whole "no regrets"mantra that just seems too good to be true (especially after that jumbo slice of pizza last night)? Well, yea. Its not a real way to evaluate life because we all have and will continue to do things that aren't always the perfect choice. But you can live a life slightly less regretful when you take each area of your life in stride making decisions from the heart and learning as you go along.

Be sure to take some time to self evaluate next time you're in one of those nail biting moments of "should I or shouldn't I". Before asking advice or googling to see how others have dealt, check in with yourself and say: What do I believe? What do I want to feel after this decision is made? Who will I be on the other side of this?

Asking these questions and others like it will help you to weed out the invisible rules that our hearts and minds sometimes jump to follow and instead lead us to act in ways that truly alight with who we are.

xo Rachel

Off work? Time to #Werk!

It's a long day weekend in honor of the Presidents Day and for you that can mean a few things:

A: Some heavier than usual Sunday night drinking (a full Monday of recovery right?)
B: Your couch is calling you and a warm blanket & Scandal marathon is the only viable option
C: #Werk

Yep, I my friend am suggesting that you use this day OFF of work to turn ON your girl boss status and get to work in some meaningful planning for the business you are growing.

Sometimes we just don't know where to start or we feel stuck at one stubborn place in the planning process.

I'm a huge believer in the idea that small steps matter and even though they may seem menial they still are part of your progression towards development!

So here I'm excited to provide you with a few questions to work through to kick start you entrepreneurial juices and allow you to get a little bit of #werk done today.

• Take a few moments to think BIG. Write down what your IDEAL business will look like! What type of people will you be serving? What will you office look like? What will the feel of your facility be? Get a real tangible feel of what you're going for. You literally cannot grow towards a goal that you do not have! 

• Have you created a landing page for contacts. Even though you may not have a fully developed concept or business plan one thing you do have is vision and you need to open yourself up to potential connections who can help you build that. A landing page can be an actual web page or simply get an email address. Gmail is free and simple my friend....make that happen! 

• Are you a list maker? Yea me too! Give yourself a much needed brain dump and throw all of those to-do's in your head down on a piece of paper. From 'make a website' to 'find a mentor'. Lay it all out and have it in front of you to work through over the next few months. 

• Call a friend....easy right? Call a friend and tell her your idea and where you want to head with it. Get vulnerable with someone you trust and spill to them your dream business. Not only will vocally speaking your plans give our heart a little burst of excitement about it all but it will also give you a point of accountability for making it happen! 

There you go! Get to #werk. Don't let this prime opportunity to go by without feeding your dream and building your vision.

Cheers to a day off full of meaningful work and time on the couch!

Promote Yo' Self! Self Definition In The Mean Time

"......and what is it that you do?"

Those words are thrown in our face often. Whether it be during a cocktail party with friends or in a casual meeting at a bar. We humans often define ourselves by our work. When we meet someone, we often take a shot at summing each other up based on the accomplished level of occupation or the ways they've decided to make a living

As entrepreneurs we can often get tongue-tied and fumbled when asked what is it that we do. We as creatives know that we eat, sleep and breathe our passions. It's what we work on during ther early morning and late at night. It's what we chat about with friends and the people who love us. Its what we'd much rather be talking about at any given point in a conversation. Am I right?!

But for some reason when we are asked what we do we revert back to the office job we hold or the part time gig we dread so much. We fail to define ourselves to others as who we actually are - the passionate, creative, hard working, women we've come to be.

As you develop your brand one step in actualizing that end goal is this: BE THAT WOMAN NOW! Don't wait until you have a website or business cards or your first client to be her. Because all those things are only by-products of what you already have flowing inside of you.

Lead with your passion project when introducing yourself and give the people who are getting to know you a glimpse at the REAL you. Not only does this reaffirm that dream and goal in your own mind and heart but it also opens you up for access to other people who may be seeking your services or product.

I can give a million examples of when I decided to lead my introduction with the fact that I "own a childcare placement agency" instead of mentioning my full time office job. When people heard that they said "Oh! Im looking for a nanny or I know someone who could really use your agency to find care" With those opportunities I built my agency until I was able to quit my full time job.

So, promote yo' self! And if making those business cards or creating a "coming soon" website makes you feel a little more official; more power to you, girl. Do it! But know that your passion is "what you do" and until you start living that thing out you're holding back on giving the world what its been waiting on from the entrepreneurial genius that you are!

I got a challenge for you: If you don't already have one make a signature for your personal email with your title pertaining to the business you're building. It can go something like this:

Rachel Cargle
Founder and Creative Director
The One That Got Away, LLC 

Super simple but a strong nod to the business owning maven that you are! Cheers to being the boss!