The Invisible Rules: Do you follow them?

You know when you've met a really great guy. Like, REALLY great. He's handsome, has manners, is hilarious and when he holds your hand your heart smiles. You know right away that you wanna be with him, as in change your FB status be with him. You both feel it mutually but.....you can't unfortunately. Its too soon. Its against the rules. The invisible rules which state: (Ahemm) In order to officially become a couple two people must go on a minimum of 4 dates and a maximum of 8. The first kiss will have had to have happened along with clear understanding of how good the sex will be. You must have at least 4 complaints so that you know its not too good to be true and you've got to have at least 2 of your best friends judge the potential mate. UGH! Why must we go through this for our own happiness?

The invisible rules are the set of rules that we often feel convicted by that aren't actually grounded in anything real. They are the things that give us a guilty feeling in our stomach but don't really align with our own set of beliefs. These sometimes come from societal pressures and expectations, standards fabricated by the religion you grew up in (but that doesn't actually line up with the authentic teachings) or even just things your family has "always said was wrong" even though they actually....aren't.

One place that this really goes a long way in is dating, where invisible rules run wild and the followers have created a bubble of unnecessary confusion and guilt. For example, the wierd thing we do where we avoid being the first to call or text someone after first meeting or a first date. Why do we do this? OR what about the fearful moment of "I love you" when we panic wondering if it's the right time to say it and if we're on the receiving end of things, what the right response should be. Instead of a evaluating our hearts and pursuing life based on our core beliefs we get caught up in the rules. The invisible rules!

As a woman who has come to build a trusting relationship with my intuition or gut feelings I'm speaking on this here topic from personal experience. Like, deep experience. The type of experience that had me choosing to stay in a marriage or not, move to a major city from my small town without a job lined up or not, and take a cross country trip with a man after just 2 dates or not and so on.

When you tap into those core feelings, the TRUE belief system you have, it can really take away the confusion, stress and uncertainty that big choices often bring.

You know whole "no regrets"mantra that just seems too good to be true (especially after that jumbo slice of pizza last night)? Well, yea. Its not a real way to evaluate life because we all have and will continue to do things that aren't always the perfect choice. But you can live a life slightly less regretful when you take each area of your life in stride making decisions from the heart and learning as you go along.

Be sure to take some time to self evaluate next time you're in one of those nail biting moments of "should I or shouldn't I". Before asking advice or googling to see how others have dealt, check in with yourself and say: What do I believe? What do I want to feel after this decision is made? Who will I be on the other side of this?

Asking these questions and others like it will help you to weed out the invisible rules that our hearts and minds sometimes jump to follow and instead lead us to act in ways that truly alight with who we are.

xo Rachel

Off work? Time to #Werk!

It's a long day weekend in honor of the Presidents Day and for you that can mean a few things:

A: Some heavier than usual Sunday night drinking (a full Monday of recovery right?)
B: Your couch is calling you and a warm blanket & Scandal marathon is the only viable option
C: #Werk

Yep, I my friend am suggesting that you use this day OFF of work to turn ON your girl boss status and get to work in some meaningful planning for the business you are growing.

Sometimes we just don't know where to start or we feel stuck at one stubborn place in the planning process.

I'm a huge believer in the idea that small steps matter and even though they may seem menial they still are part of your progression towards development!

So here I'm excited to provide you with a few questions to work through to kick start you entrepreneurial juices and allow you to get a little bit of #werk done today.

• Take a few moments to think BIG. Write down what your IDEAL business will look like! What type of people will you be serving? What will you office look like? What will the feel of your facility be? Get a real tangible feel of what you're going for. You literally cannot grow towards a goal that you do not have! 

• Have you created a landing page for contacts. Even though you may not have a fully developed concept or business plan one thing you do have is vision and you need to open yourself up to potential connections who can help you build that. A landing page can be an actual web page or simply get an email address. Gmail is free and simple my friend....make that happen! 

• Are you a list maker? Yea me too! Give yourself a much needed brain dump and throw all of those to-do's in your head down on a piece of paper. From 'make a website' to 'find a mentor'. Lay it all out and have it in front of you to work through over the next few months. 

• Call a friend....easy right? Call a friend and tell her your idea and where you want to head with it. Get vulnerable with someone you trust and spill to them your dream business. Not only will vocally speaking your plans give our heart a little burst of excitement about it all but it will also give you a point of accountability for making it happen! 

There you go! Get to #werk. Don't let this prime opportunity to go by without feeding your dream and building your vision.

Cheers to a day off full of meaningful work and time on the couch!

Promote Yo' Self! Self Definition In The Mean Time

"......and what is it that you do?"

Those words are thrown in our face often. Whether it be during a cocktail party with friends or in a casual meeting at a bar. We humans often define ourselves by our work. When we meet someone, we often take a shot at summing each other up based on the accomplished level of occupation or the ways they've decided to make a living

As entrepreneurs we can often get tongue-tied and fumbled when asked what is it that we do. We as creatives know that we eat, sleep and breathe our passions. It's what we work on during ther early morning and late at night. It's what we chat about with friends and the people who love us. Its what we'd much rather be talking about at any given point in a conversation. Am I right?!

But for some reason when we are asked what we do we revert back to the office job we hold or the part time gig we dread so much. We fail to define ourselves to others as who we actually are - the passionate, creative, hard working, women we've come to be.

As you develop your brand one step in actualizing that end goal is this: BE THAT WOMAN NOW! Don't wait until you have a website or business cards or your first client to be her. Because all those things are only by-products of what you already have flowing inside of you.

Lead with your passion project when introducing yourself and give the people who are getting to know you a glimpse at the REAL you. Not only does this reaffirm that dream and goal in your own mind and heart but it also opens you up for access to other people who may be seeking your services or product.

I can give a million examples of when I decided to lead my introduction with the fact that I "own a childcare placement agency" instead of mentioning my full time office job. When people heard that they said "Oh! Im looking for a nanny or I know someone who could really use your agency to find care" With those opportunities I built my agency until I was able to quit my full time job.

So, promote yo' self! And if making those business cards or creating a "coming soon" website makes you feel a little more official; more power to you, girl. Do it! But know that your passion is "what you do" and until you start living that thing out you're holding back on giving the world what its been waiting on from the entrepreneurial genius that you are!

I got a challenge for you: If you don't already have one make a signature for your personal email with your title pertaining to the business you're building. It can go something like this:

Rachel Cargle
Founder and Creative Director
The One That Got Away, LLC 

Super simple but a strong nod to the business owning maven that you are! Cheers to being the boss!

Bacon Cheddar Scones: I know, too good to be true!

Good morning! And what a good morning it is here in my kitchen. Today I took a shot at a savory scone recipe that is sure to make your mouth water and your morning commute a little more delicious!

I adapted the recipe from the Food Networks version. The thing I love is that this simple recipe calls only for ingredients that you are very likely to already have in your pantry and fridge. Te basics of flour, sugar, baking soda, salt and half and half. Of course you'll need your cheese and bacon and a few green onions to give a kick of flavor!

Take a peek at the recipe below and give it a try! When I made the scones they had a beautiful crunch on the outside and the savory deliciousness of the cheddar and bacon within. I paired this little bit of heaven with a cup of caramel coffee and couldn't be happier! Enjoy my friends, as bacon always make things a bit better than they were before.

Ingredients
4 slices bacon, chopped
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 tablespoon sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 stick unsalted butter, cut into pieces
6 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, grated (about 1 1/2 cups)
1/2 cup thinly sliced green onions
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 cup heavy cream, plus 2 tablespoons

Directions
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
In a medium skillet, cook the bacon, stirring, until crisp, about 5 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain well on paper towels. Into a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt. Cut in the butter, cheese, green onions, and pepper with a pastry blender or fork, and work just until it starts to form lumps and come together. Add the bacon. Add 1 cup of the cream and work just until it becomes a sticky dough, being careful not to overwork.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and pat until it comes together. Form into 2 large circles, about 7 inches in diameter and 3/4 inch thick and cut each into 8 wedges with a sharp knife. Transfer to baking sheet with a spatula, leaving 1/2-inch space between each wedge. Paint the tops of the wedges lightly with the remaining 2 tablespoons of cream and bake until golden brown, 22 to 23 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool slightly on the baking sheet. Serve warm.

Building Your Tribe: Seeking and maintaining your divine and deep connections

Valentines Day is coming up! Although I'm really excited to love on my beau this Love Day I'm really even more excited to spread some love to my friends!

Lately I've been putting alot of energy and focus into building my tribe. I have learned the significance of having a true and trusted group of women in your life to love you though this journey. As we dive into building a life we love we also have to consider the people who are going to be in it for the long haul. Im at a point where I recognize the tremendous weight that a good tribe holds.

These are the people who are never more than a phone call, coffee date or snail mailed letter away. That are the sweet souls who are there to celebrate and encourage you, listen to and learn with you, speak to your heart when you need it and who know the power of simply being present.

They don't all necessarily have to be your closest or best friend but you know that their good vibes are there to share and that you can depend on them to pour goodness into you often.

But, I love loving on my tribe as well! I love being all of those things to the women in my life who inspire, encourage and empower me.

As I build my tribe and actively seek out strong and loving women to connect with I am recognizing the real effort that must go into maintaining these sweet and divine connections. It can be through a brunch date, a coffee call, a mailboxed love letter or a shared article that you know would interest them. Letting each and every friend know that you're thinking of them, that you care and that you're so incredibly thankful for them being a part of your tribe is important and a true labor of love.

I hope that you've built a tribe! My wish for you is that you have been able to surround yourself with the love, support and empowerment that you deserve. Also, make sure that you're a meaningful part of someone else's tribe. Be aware of what friends are going through and take steps to celebrate, support and encourage them as they need it!

My ontological coach recently shared these words with my coaching group that I think really capture what is is to have a tribe:

I’m going to stand for you to truly become yourself.  I’m going to relate to you as if you’re the powerful woman you’re already becoming, already.  I’m going to hold you accountable for showing up in ways that are consistent with this deeper truth of who you are, and support you in taking risks in what you’re feeling called to.  I’m totally going to stand with you and for you. *author unknown*

I absolutely love love love this and I'm so excited for the divine and deep connections that women are making all over the world.

Are you currently working on building your tribe? What ways do you maintain the love in your group of friends? I would love to hear all about it! Comment below and share this post with a member of your tribe!

You Go Girl!: Tips on starting your entrepreneurial pursuit

Im so excited that you're looking into starting your own business. It's a courageous and ridiculously bad ass decision that will lead to a ton of self fulfillment and new discovery into exactly what you're made of!. But in pursuit of all the benefits of taking charge of how you make your living there is often a lot of doubt and fear that keep extremely capable women like you from taking the plunge.

Im here to give you some direction in finding AWESOME entrepreneurial and #girlboss support and inspiration that will keep you motivated and encouraged as you move forward in building your empire: 

1. Micromentor.com -- This website is a GOD SEND! It is a free website in which new entrepreneurs can be matched with professionals in all types of industries. I would suggest that you sign up and look for a mentor who is experienced in your industry or interest field who would be excited to help as you get started. And dont be shy. These people are eager to help people who are JUST STARTING OUT so be vulnerable in your questions with them. 

2. Marie Forleo --  I love this woman, her professional insight and business expertise is fun and relevant. I watch her videos on youtube and follower her on FB and IG and she always gives leads to other exceptional business women to follow. You can check her out at marieforleo.com or marietv.com

3. Meetup.com -- Take a peek at this website and create an account to stay connected. Here you will find tons of local groups who meet up on occasion for a variety of reasons, you should be able to find a group for female business women, or even more specific to your industry and niche. It's a really great source to find networking opportunities and to meet new friends in your field. 

4. Wix.com - My suggestion for one of the first things you do as an entreprenuer is to get started on a website. Having an online presence is crucial and even if you're not up and running yet, you can still have at least a one pager that with the basics of your purpose or outline of your services and have contact information there for people who might want to connect with you. I have created two websites with their ultra simple templates (www.thesittercircle.com & www.ignitehackathon.com) and I have had no complaints. They even give you the resources for your own domain for when you're ready and costs as low as $6 a month to keep up. 

5. Instagram is such an incredible source for inspiration (Have you checked out my feed @1thatgotawayy?) One thing I love to do on occasion is search some of my favorite hashtags that I know other successful and passionate women are using to share their own encouragement, tips and inspiration in business. Here are some of my go-to's when I need a little entrepreneurial motivation: #girlboss #inspireme #smallbusiness #entreprenueress #sherunsit #bosslady #

If you have any specific entrepreneurial questions shoot me an email as I'd love to chat! Sending you all my love and good vibes as you begin this journey of gaining beautiful freedom in your creativity, financial pursuits, daily schedule, ultimate happiness a lasting legacy. 

A two minute case for: Online Dating

:Imagine a catalog. We girls love to shop, each of us can admit to indulging in a catalog every now and then, right? Now image this: a catalog of men. Included is each man's photo, his interests, his education level, his occupation and a little blurb that makes his grammar skills and lifestyle choices somewhat obvious.

This, ladies is online dating. I know, I know. The number one complaint I hear from women is this: But there are so many creeps out there who could be lying. I challenge you to ask any of your friends who have met a man in a bar, club or party if they've ever encountered a man who lied about himself when they first met. He may have ënhanced his education or casually called himself the chief investment banker when he in reality was the teller at Bank of America.

The concerns that women have with online dating are the same concerns that appear when we have dating encounters out in the city. What I personally enjoy about online dating are what I call the three "wiggle room rules". They are the three aspects of online dating that make it a little easier than being ambushed at the bar and asked what youre drinking:

1. If a man who you have absolutely no interest in tries to talk to you, you DON'T have to respond. Unlike in real life situations where you have to make up some lie about how you're already taken or in your 7th year of physicians training and just much to busy to date.  You simply look at the message, check out his profile, laugh hysterically at the fact that he actually thought he had a chance and keep it moving. No awkward dodging conversations are to be had.

2. Dating can be kinda sticky. Often you meet someone through a mutual friend and if you and that particular person dont vibe too well after the first date things can get awkward with you and the "middle man"who set you two up. With online dating? You can have a STRONG cut you off game if you don't end up liking the person you aren't feeling. No need to worry about running into them at your best friends promotion dinner next weekend because they literally have been cast back into the 'out of no where land' that they came from.

3. How many times have you seen a guy across the room that you  really like. But it just so happens that when he FINALLY glances your way you're laughing obnoxiously at something your best friend said with a chili cheese fry hanging our of your mouth? Seriously, first impressions aren't always as gracious as you need them to be and often are absolutely no reflection of the classy, accomplished lady that you really are. With online dating you're able to create a profile that reflects the best of you and if you have the courage you can add a thing or two of the things that aren't so great to let the men who are glancing know that yes you are in fact a real person. Its not too different from when you go to a party and your hair is perfect, your clothes are brand spankin' new and somehow when the guy who works on wall street t approaches, you've suddenly developed a stellar vocabulary. We all want to be able to set a great first impression. Online dating makes that a tad bit easier since there is no greasy food or uncomfortably tight dresses included.

So, have I convinced you? What are your experiences good and bad with dating online? I'd love to hear! Share your story here on the blog or chat with me via Facebook or IG! Cant wait to 'hear about it!

Girls in technology and the unexpected allure of the "hack-a-thon"

Hello tech world!

So, there has been this revolution going on inside of this little heart of mine. A tech revolution. I know, I'm just as shocked as you are seeing that I have had about as much interest in technology as I've had in how to build a log cabin by hand (which is an astoundingly miniscule amount).

But as with all things, a change has come about and I am the newest member of this buzzing community. I got introduced to this whole thing by my beau (I'll refer to him as "S" here on out). He works for a major tech company and oozes this industry from his pores (in the absolute cutest way possible of course!)

Anywho, he had told me about a  hack-a-thon. Yes, a hack-a-thon. Stick with me here, guys, I know the look on your face. I expressed the same type of confusion, disbelief and sheer uninterest in what, for all I knew was an undercover Star Wars convention.

But alas! I listened with the kindness of a sweet girlfriend and found the concept to be rather......interesting!

So it goes like this: Participants in the hack-a-thon form teams that they will be working with throughout the 24 hour event. They are given a wifi connection, space to work, extension cords for excessive laptop juicing, meals, energy drinks for excessive personal charging and a theme in which they have to work with.

During this 24 techy shut-in the hackers get to work, designing an application that pertains in some way to the theme presented. This could range anywhere from a solution for the water crisis to making life easier for high school student athletes.

Its essentially a big ól creativity party full of thinkers, designers and doers who are ready to put their skills to the test to compete against others in their field of interest. In the end each group presents their created application and judges pick a final winner and often award prizes. $10,000 anyone?

So after S told me about his participation in one I was astounded. Aside from the whole "I'm totally not interested in computer programming"part this sounded like a really good time and an excellent opportunity for those who ARE interested in the tech world.

I did a little research and by research I mean I got utterly obsessive about the tech industry in a very very short amount of time. Reading blogs, peeking through magazines, watching interviews with prominent people in the industry, researching the best start ups, the best products, EVERYTHING. And I kinda got a few heart strings involved.

The gender gap in the STEM and tech industry, although better than before, is still pretty big. There simply aren't enough women with interest and involvement in this ridiculously innovative world. I created this lovely little infographic with a few facts to get you in the know incase you weren't already:

Luckily there are awesome organizations such as GIRLS WHO CODE and THE ANITA BORG INSTITUTE that 'were created exclusively for the advancement of women in technology.

SO....as usual I got an idea....a passion project I wanted to work on:

I wanted to produce and host a hackathon exclusively for high school girl. One that will fuel their interest in the field of technology and allow them to showcase their exceptional creativity and skills in coding. But I wanted this to also be an opportunity where the big hearts of these girls can be showcased as well. The theme for their creations would then be focused on women's advancement as well. I wanted these girls to use their smarts to build something that will support the skills and advancement of other women around the globe.

Well friends. Im excited to introduce: 

IGNITE: The only 24 hour coding event just for girls with interest in STEM. IGNITE is an opportunity for participants to showcase their interest, skills and coding creativity to address some of our world's most pressing social issues.  Our goal is to ignite female interest in development and power their possibility of changing the world.

What do ya think?  Something you think the young girls in your life might want to be a part of?

Keep an eye out as this passion project grows and be sure to take a peek at our website HERE as we continue to develop the programming and event details! If you'd like to be a part of this event in any capacity please feel free to shoot me an email!

Cheers to women in technology and the awesome places they're heading in this world!

The Sweetness of Simplicity

   I've always said, I just want to fill my life with good people, who give off good energy, to enjoy good food, good wine, good music, good literature, good conversation, good views, good writing. Id love to indulge in time spent on the water, in the mountains, in parks and in beautiful homes.
   I love the simplicity of those things. By simple I'm not implying a lack of income or a limit of resources. By simplicity I mean stepping away from the complex expectations of society. I don't want to have any sense of "Keeping Up With The Joneses'" I want to focus on only those things that my heart yearns for, jumps at. The previously listed aspects of life are what I have come to find give me a full heart.
   I really enjoy the raw and rustic feeling that the nature gives me. The wooden tables, the rose metal cups, the wool knitted blankets. It all gives me a feeling of purity and connectedness and grounding. Being in the mountains or by ocean I just breathe better. I'm able to take more in, to appreciate, to love.
   Eating food from the earth has made a significant impact on things for me as well. For me there is something extremely special in knowing that I am consuming something that the sunshine itself has fueled the growth for. Mixes of plants, herbs, spices, and oils combining into a beautiful meal to share with people you love is something really beautiful and that I really take the time to appreciate.
   There are just some things that I never really put value on. Clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry. Those things never really appealed to me the way travel, learning, great meals and literature have. As far back as I can remember I would use any gifted money to purchase books, a new coffee mug, and art class or a plane ticket.
    I appreciate all of the souls I've come across that feel the same way. These are the friends I've made and the strangers I've spoken to that see through the same "rose colored glasses" that I do, and I cherish those connections. The vibes can be felt across the room and usually ends up in a silent smile with complete understanding.
   I was reminded by a sweet friend of mine about the "busy-ness" that our culture has become addicted to. The way that we feel like a saturated schedule equals accomplishment or success. We miss out on the simple beauty of having time on our hands. I'm trying to be more conscious that down time doesn't have to be boring and that just the simplicity of sitting on the couch can feed your soul as well!
    I'm sending my love and light to others who are searching for the simplicity in this life. The kind of living that seeks the joy and miracles in the simple and often overlooked aspects of our day to day. May we maintain and fulfill this craving! Cheers!